DOH comments on draft final report, June 2002

NYC 9/11 Public Portal Document

NYCDOH and NYSDOH Comments on the Draft Final Report

June 6, 2002

1. Add a glossary to the report

2. Delete redundant sentences.

3. Highlight the main points throughout the report. Use text boxes to make for easier reading. See Attachment - Key Messages.

4. Move the Uncertainties section prior to the Methods section (line 441). Note: numbering of the uncertainties implies importance.

5. Be conservative when using strong language. Sentences that make very certain conclusions about the data should be made a bit more tentative by using words like "appear to", "seems" or” suggests". Many of the conclusions regarding minerals in air in the document use this type of language and should be used as a model. For example, in the “significance of minerals and fibers in the settled dust” section, change the last sentence of the paragraph which currently reads, “the data clearly demonstrates” to the data suggests that dust composition differs in lower Manhattan from the comparison area (lines 990 - 991).

6. Incorporate some information from the sampling protocol into the methods sections.

7. Add information concerning sample chain of custody and lab certification into the Data Management section.

8. Clarify why the particulate matter data were rejected in the Data Management section.

9. Specify that in this study, a finding using either the PLM or TEM method be considered a positive asbestos finding.

10. In the Discussion of results section, delete from the report (consider moving to an appendix) the information on the correlation of asbestos/glass wool/minerals (lines 872 - 974). Instead, add in 1-2 sentences that states an attempt was made to look for possible correlations in the sample results and for most materials, no correlations were determined. Keep the paragraph currently located just before the “significance of minerals and fibers in the settled dust” (lines 976 - 981).

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